Read something recently about a cop being sued for looking up a girl he pulled over. Pffttt, if that had worked out, it'd be a cute "how I met your Mom" story. Here's my "how I met my Cop" story written 5 years ago. No idea when written we'd still be hanging out together, even went shopping for rings recently. #gimmemyring
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May 21, 2010
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May 21, 2010
FANTASTIC show, but I maybe need to slow down drinking a tad...
Saw Adam Carolla last night in SF - planned on seeing the show, have a few drinks and pop in to say hello to him before leaving. I do remember his standup being fantastic and brilliant, but that's about when the night started to get away from me:
A hotel friend got me a room cheap, since I figured I might be having a few, and, Jesus Christ did I... Before, during and after, including several Long Island Teas during the show. Cabbed it to my Irish pub Kell’s after show. Had little money, but Reason # 5,247 why it’s better to be a woman than a man? Guys buy you drinks if you’re fun to talk to. Met a fun group from Washington, and we drank and laughed and danced, only to part company around 2:30-ish.
Couldn’t get a fucking cab to save my life! It was late with sketchy people around so was kinda scared. Flagged, whistled, screamed, nothing – all full or just flew by me. So I started walking in the direction of my hotel and figured I’d get one en route. Finally found a parked one, ran up to it and found 2 people in the front – odd… I try to get in, but door is locked. The passenger asks me for ID - figured it was a security thing being so late, but hey, safety first! Gave it, he unlocked, and I climbed - maybe more like tumbled in to be more accurate. Remember noting how paranoid these SF cabbies are now – they actually have a cage between them and their passengers - almost like we're prisoners! Leaned my head against the glass pillow to catch a quick nap on way back.
Suddenly I woke up in my room wearing exactly what I had on and using the nightstand as a "damn, I hope my neck hurts in the morning" pillow. Sporting vodka perfume, I showered, poured myself downstairs to check out and high-tail it to work. Front desk guy hands me an envelope from the SF Police Department. Fuck me red... Did my Jeep get towed? Handwritten note with a business card read something like this:
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Karyn,
I am Officer Stevens and with Officer Morello, we picked you up last night highly intoxicated. Instead of taking you into custody, we dropped you off at your hotel to Crystal Rados, who took you to your room. Please call me to discuss and let me know you are OK.
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Jesus Christ, am I being punked? Am I gonna get arrested? Front desk dialed number on card, and I shyly spoke to him pretty much about to cry – really scared. And he starts assembling the puzzle pieces of my night for me... So it appears I flagged the police down thinking they were a cab, climbed in, and talked up a storm about comedy, football and my job. Asked officers if we could find a drive-thru (I was buying!), laughingly mocked several foreign accents, and rolled the window up on my hair more than once leaving tufts of drunken blonde behind. Smelled strongly of alcohol, demanded a demonstration from them HOW pitchers throw knuckle balls, played drums on the barrier separating the seats and was apparently quite a handful.
Started crying and told him how truly sorry and embarrassed I am. Turns out, no need to be... Reason # 5,248 why it’s better to be a woman than a man? Non-arresting cop cutting you a break asks you out for coffee (no Irish) on next trip to the city! She shoots, she scores!!! Now if only I could remember what he looked like…
Not proud, just true,
Officer K
Saw Adam Carolla last night in SF - planned on seeing the show, have a few drinks and pop in to say hello to him before leaving. I do remember his standup being fantastic and brilliant, but that's about when the night started to get away from me:
A hotel friend got me a room cheap, since I figured I might be having a few, and, Jesus Christ did I... Before, during and after, including several Long Island Teas during the show. Cabbed it to my Irish pub Kell’s after show. Had little money, but Reason # 5,247 why it’s better to be a woman than a man? Guys buy you drinks if you’re fun to talk to. Met a fun group from Washington, and we drank and laughed and danced, only to part company around 2:30-ish.Couldn’t get a fucking cab to save my life! It was late with sketchy people around so was kinda scared. Flagged, whistled, screamed, nothing – all full or just flew by me. So I started walking in the direction of my hotel and figured I’d get one en route. Finally found a parked one, ran up to it and found 2 people in the front – odd… I try to get in, but door is locked. The passenger asks me for ID - figured it was a security thing being so late, but hey, safety first! Gave it, he unlocked, and I climbed - maybe more like tumbled in to be more accurate. Remember noting how paranoid these SF cabbies are now – they actually have a cage between them and their passengers - almost like we're prisoners! Leaned my head against the glass pillow to catch a quick nap on way back.
Suddenly I woke up in my room wearing exactly what I had on and using the nightstand as a "damn, I hope my neck hurts in the morning" pillow. Sporting vodka perfume, I showered, poured myself downstairs to check out and high-tail it to work. Front desk guy hands me an envelope from the SF Police Department. Fuck me red... Did my Jeep get towed? Handwritten note with a business card read something like this:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Karyn,
I am Officer Stevens and with Officer Morello, we picked you up last night highly intoxicated. Instead of taking you into custody, we dropped you off at your hotel to Crystal Rados, who took you to your room. Please call me to discuss and let me know you are OK.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Jesus Christ, am I being punked? Am I gonna get arrested? Front desk dialed number on card, and I shyly spoke to him pretty much about to cry – really scared. And he starts assembling the puzzle pieces of my night for me... So it appears I flagged the police down thinking they were a cab, climbed in, and talked up a storm about comedy, football and my job. Asked officers if we could find a drive-thru (I was buying!), laughingly mocked several foreign accents, and rolled the window up on my hair more than once leaving tufts of drunken blonde behind. Smelled strongly of alcohol, demanded a demonstration from them HOW pitchers throw knuckle balls, played drums on the barrier separating the seats and was apparently quite a handful.
Started crying and told him how truly sorry and embarrassed I am. Turns out, no need to be... Reason # 5,248 why it’s better to be a woman than a man? Non-arresting cop cutting you a break asks you out for coffee (no Irish) on next trip to the city! She shoots, she scores!!! Now if only I could remember what he looked like…
Not proud, just true,
Officer K
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