Waking up this Thursday 1/26 in Vegas with a hangover thicker than I imagine the soles of Carnie Wilson's dirty feet to be... Feeling reflective, and by reflective I mean I don't want to drag my burnt ass out of bed, so this is the least energy thing I can do and still feel a petty sense of accomplishment.
My "boss-boss" drove up from LA last night to check up on me and others - actually confessed he told people to "get rid of me", then had a change of heart. Not the way I remember it:
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Was in the LA recently putting the final touches on the upcoming cruise gig, when I finally learned the importance of first impressions...
We’re rehearsing in an older theater – not just us bands, but other groups doing dance-y / Broadway stuff, so it’s on a stage, full-blinding lighting and all you can really see is chair outlines and shadows of people milling in and out. The dance-y people sit in the audience and yap and choreograph and stretch while we do our 50-minute set, then we watch them: Rinse, lather, repeat. Really dull…
Near the end of one set, it’s hot and I’m tired and bored and grab a towel off a stool to dry my face and back of neck - look at setlist on floor: "Gimme All Your Lovin’" by ZZ Top is next. Since nobody was really watching us, I tied the dark towel around my head so it looked like an old-west bandana / Amish / ZZ Top beard hanging down. I’m the only guitar and have to cover it all, so I start loud and full. Boredom lured me into doing that stiff ZZ Top-sway while some of the dancers start laughing and egging me on.
My boss near song’s end yells "Please Karyn? C’mon now…", so I pull my towel-beard down around my neck and finish. Walk to setlist and see: "Don’t Go Breaking My Heart" ( Jeff / Karyn ) – WHAT??? I yelled to him:
"Nope, I’m not doing that."
"What’s the problem Kar?"
"I’m not doing that – it’s awful and I’m supposed to sing backup only."
"This IS backup, Jeff is singing."
"No it isn’t – it’s a DUET by Elton John and Leather Tuscadero, and a bad one as well - nope."
People start laughing and looking at each other and I hear "Leather Tuscadero?" being whisper-questioned, then more laughter.
Some older, silver-fox kind of man in a suit walks halfway down the aisle and yells. "Hey, do you even know the song?"
"I have tabs, so I can do it, but it’s awful and I don’t want to sing it. Not background."
"You aware that ‘awful’ song was a #1 hit?"
"So was ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred, and I’m not doing that either." Much laughter and the dance-y people start singing and dancing it. Go figger...
He walks closer, squints and says "Who is that on your shirt?"
"Bill Hicks, an old comedian who died."
"Finish this sentence, and I’ll take that song out right now, fair enough wise ass? ’We live in a world…’"
"OK ready? We live in a world where John Lennon was murdered, yet Barry Manilow coooontinues to put out fucking albums. God-dammit! If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Kenny Rogers' house." (Cut / pasted the EXACT, but I was within a word or two.)
He laughs because I was really hamming up the delivery. "You win. Take Elton out. By the way, I am his (pointing at my boss) boss, thus your boss and Leather Tuscadero was from Happy Days. It was Kiki Dee you smart ass."
So the way I see it, minus the "ass" bits, I was called both "wise" AND "smart" first day by the new boss... Yes! She shoots, she scores!!!
All of us went to dinner that night - learned he worked with the band Tool in the 90’s. Bill Hicks actually opened for them, as well as being a big fan. We sat around drinking, talking Bill most of the night, even after everyone else left. Got an old school education in Happy Days' lineage. Only remembered her name and face but now know she certainly did not sing on that piece of shit song with Elton.
Reasonably sure I’m his new favorite employee…
Kar
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